Sunday, October 19, 2008
October Bead Journal Project (BJP)
"Walking a new path". I think that sounds better than "Walking away from the heartache".
My heart is so very heavy today, I'll share as much as I can...
There were many questions rolling around in my mind as I beaded up this square. All surrounding my son and granddaughter. In addition to all she has had to endure up to now, so much has happened this past year with her and around her at her mother's house. Things seriously escalated in the last 6 weeks - it is still hard for me to grasp and understand.
The short story... the mother was arrested for felony domestic battery (among several other felony charges) for holding a gun to the head of her husband (in front of her 3 children). She spent several days in jail before one of her neighbors bailed her out. In the meantime my son took his daughter to his house and filed for an emergency change of custody order, with the hope and intention of keeping his daughter in a safer environment. He got her enrolled in a new school and she began a regular schedule of sleeping, eating and just being a kid. She seemed to change before my eyes, she appeared to be happier, lighter in spirit and much more like a little girl again. It has been such a joy to witness.
My son and the girl's mother went before the judge about 2 weeks ago regarding the temporary change of custody. He heard both sides and talked to my granddaughter separately. We received the ruling late Saturday - she is to go back with her mother immediately.
I don't think I could be more heartbroken. I see/hear my son's anguish and I feel my own. I try really hard not to imagine what an evening is like in that house. At times it is too much to process. The way the court sees it - the step dad is now out of the house and the mother is out of jail, so no emergency exists. It's a shame they don't look any deeper than that even when presented with a mountain of evidence about the unstable environment.
As I was beading this piece, I was sure it would end up being titled "Walking on sunshine" because I was pretty sure the ruling would go in the favor of my son and the judge would make what I thought was the obvious choice for my granddaughter and her best interests.
I don't make it a practice of sharing so much of my personal life and especially the sad moments, but I am feeling quite raw and unfiltered right now.
Let's move on to the details of this page - I'm sure you noticed the those awesome feet, right? They are raku style pottery by Lisa Peters. She makes the coolest stuff. And it just so happens, she is currently having a wonderful end of summer sale in her Etsy store.
The sequins are vintage and so incredibly beautiful in person. They were a bit hard to photograph, but I think you get the idea. And for those that love to see the stitching, I've included a photo of that for you (note - both photos are clickable for a larger view)
The beaded part of this piece is 3 inches by 3 inches and will be sewn together with the other 11 pieces when complete to make a mini beaded quilt.
Leaves of Grass
This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body - Walt Whitman